WHAT SHOULD ONE TELL PARENTS OF A BRAIN-DAMAGED CHILD? Question How should the parents of a brain-damaged child understand why they were chosen to have such a child? Answer And the answer is … everybody in life has a certain role. Now, some people are born, chalilah, to die young. There are certain individuals who are allotted from the beginning only a short lifespan. Some children are born to die at birth. Some die even before birth. Everyone has his role in life, and there is a purpose, because each one fulfills a useful function. A brain-damaged child fulfills a function. First, all those people who have normal children must utilize the opportunity to rejoice and thank Hashem. It’s very important; otherwise, you will never understand what you have if you’re not able to view the contrast. If you have a normal child, you must thank Hashem always for the years and years of sorrow that you were spared. Everyone who has a child without some disfigurement on his face, a child who is not a cripple, a child who does not have any serious illness, must constantly thank Hashem — and not only for the child, but for himself, too. You need somebody in the world who demonstrates that. The question is: Is it fair that this child and these parents should be chosen for that function? And the answer is … nobody works for free in this world. Everybody is remunerated for his services, and a child who is born to serve such a role goes to Olam Haba eventually and is richly repaid. He is paid off more than many people who have lived happy, normal lives. The Gemara (Avodah Zarah 3b) says that Hashem Himself becomes the Torah teacher in Olam Haba of those children who die young. You can’t understand this world unless you understand that this world is only a vestibule for the World to Come (Pirkei Avos 4:16). All wrongs are righted in the World to Come. Furthermore, those parents who have compassion on that child, feeding him, taking care of all his needs and having mercy on him, are gaining a great wealth of Olam Haba. Whatever the purpose of this phenomenon is, it’s achieved by these people.

Now, some people have even a greater burden to bear in this world. And therefore parents in this position should be satisfied that this is the extent of their burden. They should accept it and understand that Hashem is an employer Who is not stingy when it comes to paying reward.

Miller, Rabbi Avigdor. Rav Avigdor Miller on Emunah and Bitachon . The Judaica Press, Inc.. Kindle Edition.